I am not going to Japan. For a lot of reasons. Mostly, it's not my dream. It's hard to get a job there right now. I just don't have the drive to work hard and succeed at this. Tanner is working hard, but he can't carry me there, and do it all for me. He has enough drive to get himself there, so he is planning on going. It's his dream. That is good.
So yeah. It will suck being apart again.
I am not going to blog for him. So oh well, I don't really have anything to blog about.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Sushi at Home - Minus the Fish!
Great article by Mark Bittman, the Minimalist, a food writer for the New York Times. Also, Tanner has a book written by this chef/writer, I think Joyce and Julie got it for him.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/05/dining/05mini.html?src=me&ref=homepage
Tanner and I should host a sushi party!
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/05/dining/05mini.html?src=me&ref=homepage
Tanner and I should host a sushi party!
Balancing act
I reviewed my last post, which kind of bothered me.
I don't want Tanner to be responsible for all the planning and creating. It would be hypocritical of me. I was feeling stressed out having to do "everything" and I don't want to just shove that burden off on Tanner. I know that I need to help him as well. I need to work on my own resume and other necessities if we are going to be successful in moving to Japan. We both need to be responsible for our own things.
Tanner was not putting the pressure on me to do research or get us motivated. I was putting that pressure on myself. I needed to take a break, and to step back and put things in perspective. Tanner was and is being very supportive of me. I just thought it was important to put that up here as well.
Now that I know I have options, and am not locked into going to Japan, I feel much better.
There are so many reasons living in Japan with Tanner would be fantastic. He is excited and that is wonderful to see in him. I love exploring, and just observing things. I would love to watch Japan. We would get to live together for the first time, which would be fun and challenging. I think teaching would be a rewarding, it would be tough as well. I think I can be a good teacher. I think living and teaching will be really tough, and as I succeed in Japan I would have a lot more faith in myself and my abilities.
Plus there is the food, and funny items, temples, shrines, beautiful landscapes, art and festivals, that make life fun anywhere.
So right now we are in this odd holding pattern. I will take my lead from Tanner. We will continue to get ready, and to support each other.
I don't want Tanner to be responsible for all the planning and creating. It would be hypocritical of me. I was feeling stressed out having to do "everything" and I don't want to just shove that burden off on Tanner. I know that I need to help him as well. I need to work on my own resume and other necessities if we are going to be successful in moving to Japan. We both need to be responsible for our own things.
Tanner was not putting the pressure on me to do research or get us motivated. I was putting that pressure on myself. I needed to take a break, and to step back and put things in perspective. Tanner was and is being very supportive of me. I just thought it was important to put that up here as well.
Now that I know I have options, and am not locked into going to Japan, I feel much better.
There are so many reasons living in Japan with Tanner would be fantastic. He is excited and that is wonderful to see in him. I love exploring, and just observing things. I would love to watch Japan. We would get to live together for the first time, which would be fun and challenging. I think teaching would be a rewarding, it would be tough as well. I think I can be a good teacher. I think living and teaching will be really tough, and as I succeed in Japan I would have a lot more faith in myself and my abilities.
Plus there is the food, and funny items, temples, shrines, beautiful landscapes, art and festivals, that make life fun anywhere.
So right now we are in this odd holding pattern. I will take my lead from Tanner. We will continue to get ready, and to support each other.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Only Tanner moving?
We had a serious conversation about whether or not I am going to move to Japan. I have been suffering from an amazing amount of stress at the thought of moving to Japan. Tanner hasn't been doing research or making resumes. I feel like it is all up to me. If I don't motivate us we won't be successful. This is especially frustrating because I don't even want to live in Japan. I only want to go because it is important to Tanner.
So for now we've decided that I can keep all my options open. That includes not going with Tanner to Japan.
We've also decided that Tanner needs to do all the planning and all the networking. I need a break.
If I don't go to Japan it will really change what happens to us the rest of this year and next. We didn't want to live apart again. It means that I need to start thinking about what kind of jobs I am looking for as well.
A lot of tough choices.
So for now we've decided that I can keep all my options open. That includes not going with Tanner to Japan.
We've also decided that Tanner needs to do all the planning and all the networking. I need a break.
If I don't go to Japan it will really change what happens to us the rest of this year and next. We didn't want to live apart again. It means that I need to start thinking about what kind of jobs I am looking for as well.
A lot of tough choices.
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