Balancing act

I reviewed my last post, which kind of bothered me.

I don't want Tanner to be responsible for all the planning and creating. It would be hypocritical of me. I was feeling stressed out having to do "everything" and I don't want to just shove that burden off on Tanner. I know that I need to help him as well. I need to work on my own resume and other necessities if we are going to be successful in moving to Japan. We both need to be responsible for our own things.

Tanner was not putting the pressure on me to do research or get us motivated. I was putting that pressure on myself. I needed to take a break, and to step back and put things in perspective. Tanner was and is being very supportive of me. I just thought it was important to put that up here as well.

Now that I know I have options, and am not locked into going to Japan, I feel much better.

There are so many reasons living in Japan with Tanner would be fantastic. He is excited and that is wonderful to see in him. I love exploring, and just observing things. I would love to watch Japan. We would get to live together for the first time, which would be fun and challenging. I think teaching would be a rewarding, it would be tough as well. I think I can be a good teacher. I think living and teaching will be really tough, and as I succeed in Japan I would have a lot more faith in myself and my abilities.
Plus there is the food, and funny items, temples, shrines, beautiful landscapes, art and festivals, that make life fun anywhere.

So right now we are in this odd holding pattern. I will take my lead from Tanner. We will continue to get ready, and to support each other.